As some of you know, I've been to the dump a few times to blow away some old computer monitors. During these excursions, I've learned a couple things. For example, I've learned that the glass on a 15" CRT monitor is quite thick, maybe 1.5cm. It can take a surprising amount of impact without breaking. Contrarily, the weak point of the whole package is where the cathode ray tube flares out to form the back of the screen. A sharp blow at this point will yield a satisfying hiss as the vacuum is compromised.

To my surprise, computer monitors have power cables that are very firmly attached. One can easily carry a monitor slung over one's shoulder by the power cable. I suspect that you could do this all day without impairing its function. You can also swing the monitor around by its power cable, and it won't let go. Even after the plastic covering has long since been smashed, and the internal components reduced to a shattered mass, the power cable will not let go. I once saw a man swing one monitor in each hand. He brought them over his head, and crashed them into the ground, where he continued to smash them.

When it comes to using tools to smash a monitor, I've seen and used a variety. I tried the broken back of a chair, but found that I couldn't get a good quick swing. I also tried pieces of discarded lumbar, but unlike Hacksaw Jim Duggan, I didn't find the grip comfortable. My favourite was a piece of pipe. I once tried a moose's leg bone, but it shattered. Too bad, I thought it had a lot of potential.

Most importantly, I learned that all of those teetotallers were rights. You really don't need alcohol to have a good time.